How Ready Are You For a Commitment?
Consider what type of relationship best suits you before you begin your Internet adventures. That assessment will help alleviate mistakes, which might hurt everyone involved. If you are in search of a long-term commitment, it is wise to ask a few questions concerning your readiness for such an arrangement. Preparation and planning will help avoid a succession of dysfunctional or failed relationships.
Many of us desire a long term committed relationship. It is a society norm and most of us want someone with whom we can share our lives. However, wanting it and being able to obtain and sustain that type of commitment are different. Sometimes our desires are out of the realm of possibilities. Maybe we are not sure of what we want or there may be serious issues that require attention first. To avoid frustration and drama, you will need to evaluate your assets as a partner. Clean up any messes that might send a potential prospect running in the other direction. Ask a lot of why questions of yourself and answer them in earnest. Why do I want to be in a relationship? What is there that might get in my way or turn away a potential partner?
Entering into a relationship carrying baggage from the past or past relationships is one sure way to sabotage its success before it begins. Expecting your partner to bear those burdens is unthinkable. It would not be in their best interest or yours to distress the relationship with negatives from the start. You may find a potential partner who will claim they can handle it. Once confronted with the realities, it becomes too taxing and they eventually have to call it quits.
Relationships take a lot of work and come with responsibilities. Assess your capabilities to meet that end and see what you might discover. Answer the questions below honestly and objectively. The results will offer a better perspective of your situation and help assess how prepared you are for the responsibilities that accompany being a partner in a relationship. Any problem areas or unresolved issues would have to be addressed before you commit.
1- Is your knowledge of the basics intact?
*Have you discovered your true self?
*Are you satisfied with the results of your self-assessment?
*Is there a need for change? Can you realistically make those changes?
*Have you recently gotten in touch with your inner guide?
2- Do you know exactly what you want?
*What are your personal and relationship dreams & goals?
*Can you characterize your ideal partner?
*Have you clearly defined what you have to offer as a partner in a relationship?
*Can you describe what a day in a relationship would be like? Is it based in reality?
3- What are your requirements and needs?
*Are you aware of what you truly need and require to be content and happy in your life and relationships?
*Do you know your limits and boundaries?
*Can you clearly state your needs and requirements to others?
*Are you able to say No?
4- Is your life all you would like it be?
*Do you hold a clear vision of your future?
*Is your life rewarding & fulfilling? What is missing?
*Are your choices and decisions influenced by others?
*Do you believe that you can live your dreams?
5- Are there outside influences in your life that would strain a relationship?
*Would career, children, family and/or friends restrict or stress your relationship commitment?
*Are you able to prioritize and balance your responsibilities and social life?
*Are you impulsive? Do you make decisions in haste?
*Are you prepared for the unexpected events life might send your way?
*Could you handle the disapproval of others? Possibly your partner's family or friends?
6- Do you have unresolved financial or legal matters?
*Would they negatively affect a potential partner?
*Should those issues be resolved before you begin your search?
*Would you disclose legal issues to your partner after they have been resolved?
7- Are there health related issues or concerns?
*Does your physical or mental health alter or interfere with your life and relationship goals?
*How would they affect a potential partner?
*Are you emotionally self-sufficient?
8- Do you hold a healthy respect for all people?
*Do you harbor any anger or animosity towards the opposite sex that may live deep within?
*Do you carry past relationship issues that have not been resolved?
*If gay, lesbian or transgender, do you have issues with family, friends, co-workers or others that would need to be resolved before you begin your search?
*Are you prepared for the possibility that you may find yourself attracted to someone your family and friends might not approve of? How would you handle such a scenario?
*How would those you care for deal with your attraction to someone of another race, from a foreign country or of the same sex perhaps?
*How would you deal with an attraction to someone who is out of your comfort zone?
9- Do you have effective communication and social skills?
*Are you able to assert your needs?
*Are you able to say 'No'?
*Do you have a positive outlook and attitude in regards to life and relationships?
*Do you get along well with others?
*Are you approachable?
*Do you prefer being alone to attending social events?
*Are you able to openly express your feelings to others?
10- Do you have appropriate relationship skills?
*Do you have a working knowledge and understanding of the type of relationship you seek?
*Are you prepared for dedicated sexual intimacy?
*Would you be an asset in your relationship or pose a liability?
*Can you show your feelings physically?
*Are you open to compromise?
*Are you able to deal with anger and negative emotion in an appropriate manner?
Successful relationships take commitment, effort, fortitude, dedication, planning and good communication skills. Planning for success will command success.