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The Library


Myths & Misconceptions of Orgasm

Throughout the ages, we have proposed many different theories and practices regarding sex and orgasm. Some
have been laid as a foundation of truth and were approved in generality by the majority. Others were passed over for lack of
conformity and agreement. The dictates of society have left a mark on our sexual condition, holding intact, the many myths and
misconceptions in a one-dimensional frame. Those fallacies have now become the center of an increasing number of failed
relationships and meaningless sexual experiences.

We have been lead to trust that orgasm comes as a direct response or reaction to the physical stimulation our partner provides,
the result of his/her powerful magic. If our partner cannot provide just the right touch in all the right places, he/she is considered inept.
Our misguided authority has further taught us that our partner holds the duty and responsibility for our orgasm. It is a gift we feel is
owed to us as part of our agreement to share ourselves intimately .Orgasm is our reward for participation and a job well done.
We hold our partner liable if our sexual encounter fails to produce that magical moment in orgasmic bliss.

As we struggle to manifest the proper standards and manipulate the misguided truths, our focus is concentrated on the
end result rather than enjoying the moment. The journey becomes a task and hinders our reaching the desired destination.

We spend our intimate time trying to find just the right spark to provoke the grandiose finale. If we fail in our quest, we
pass the blame for our inadequacies to a stressful life event or hormonal mishap, which surely must have contributed to any
failed attempts. We carry guilt if we are unable to offer a climactic happening for our partner and are frustrated if we fail to
experience it ourselves. All that work and no grandiose finale. That presents sex as a negative and not conducive to want of
a repeat performance.

Far and away from the myths and misconceptions are the realities. In truth, the responsibility for our orgasm belongs to us.  
As we are each responsible for our own life experiences and the paths we choose, so too are we each accountable for our own
sexual ventures and orgasms. Sharing our sex does not automatically transfer those obligations to our partner, nor does it offer him/her
up as a sacrifice or scapegoat if orgasm is not achieved. This places a lot of stress and anxiety on our partner that is unwarranted
and unfair. We hold the power of our own fulfillment.

Sex and orgasm are born of the mind and live there. A touch can spark interest, but it is the power of the mind, which translates
and transforms those sensations into the body experience and provokes orgasm. Sex and its rewards are created in the mind and it is
the mind, which produces the cravings and needs satisfaction. That too is when the spirit takes flight and the passage into bliss unfolds.
The body simply reacts to the mental stimulation and affects. Therefore, it is there our journey must begin and through the power and
brilliance of the mind, we experience the ultimate end.

The quest to reach climax must find us open and receptive, while allowing the mind to take us on that sweet journey into bliss.
If the focus is on finding spots, creating sparks or dealing with the anxieties associated with possible failure, our mind cannot
simultaneously lead an expedition into ecstasy. The benefits and rewards we seek from of our sexual encounters cannot be
expected to magically materialize from physical enticements alone or otherwise be produced, if our thoughts have not accompanied
us into the moment.

Most men fall prey to the fallacies created regarding the involvement of touch in orgasm. They assume that touching
a woman’s body or allowing her to show attention to theirs, will offer up their just rewards. Great sexual experiences require
more than that. Even quickies require more attention. The more you invest, the greater the rewards. Touching the mind is a much more
powerful solution. Mental foreplay and intellectual stimulation will spark more intense interest and will more efficiently and effectively
motivate  and inspire the desired effect. Touch can only achieve the ultimate response if the mind is at the helm. Proof lies with those
who have enhanced their capabilities and are able to lead their partners into orgasm without the benefit of touch or any sexual act.
Women hold the power of sex. They carry it in their belly and most are unaware of the influence and capabilities they possess.
Unfortunately, for their partner, women do not fully understand this power or know how to use it. Too many women tend
to misuse their powers.

Even when faced with their own sexual needs women do not know they have the ability to create their own orgasm,
with or without a partner and with or without the aid of sexual ‘enhancers’. They believe a partner is needed to provide the
stimulation and affects for complete sexual satisfaction. They depend on that alleged magical touch to provoke orgasm.
Where the mind  could take them, if they are open to the possibilities, is limitless. However, for thousands of women, orgasm
remains an elusive dream. It lives  only in fantasy; even with the assistance of a partner. They are unaware of
their great power and its capabilities.

Women are left behind, living in the myths and misconceptions while searching for the right partner with the magical
touch and lose interest quickly if he/she does not possess the appropriate skills. They remain blind to the power they are and the
power they own to take themselves on that fabulous journey. They may have passed over the right partner due to their lack of
knowledge and willingness to fully participate in their own sexual experiences. Ladies, experiment, explore and discover the wonder
that you are. There are a host of writings that explain in detail how to find and utilize that power. Try your own methods. It is OK to
experiment in self pleasure and find your own sparks.

Self-pleasuring holds the greatest advantage of all. While it is considered taboo in certain circles or pathetic in others, it is an act
of self-love, which allows for positive and powerful sexual experiences. It also allows a powerful spiritual connection and gives
attention to sexual energy. Most hide their self-indulging adventures for fear of reprisals and judgements.

However, in that space we are free to explore, experiment and travel to the far reaches of fantasy, uninhibited, as the
mind leads us to orgasm. If we limit our experiences solely to the physical aspects without the benefit of fantasy or spirit travel, we are
left with superficial results at best. Those events leave us with little reward past the fleeting moment of self-gratification. Without the power
of the mind to spark want and cravings, there is little chance we can touch and connect to the ultimate offerings that exist. We are left
with an empty act of masturbation. You must reach deep inside to your dark garden and play in the blossoms to find your true power.

It is through the power of the mind that we can experience the grandness of the universe. The mind will reveal
that place of healing, calm and rejuvenation our sex and orgasms provoke. Our partner can guide us, but cannot take us to the inner
depths without the understanding and willingness to enter and explore the endless possibilities. Although the myths and misconceptions
have inhibited the past, we have the power to shadow them with the truth of the future. The decision and outcome belong to us, as do the
adventures and the journey’s ultimate end. Our ability to experience orgasm lives within us. We own the power to make
it happen and make it count.


How Well Do You Really Know You?

Knowing you and having a healthy, well-balanced relationship with the inner self is a vital first step in seeking a partner and in being
a partner in a relationship. The journey into the inner depths of you is needed to become aware of your true requirements, needs,
wants and desires. Describing yourself in an online dating profile will warrant a thorough self-assessment. It is your responsibility,
as a potential partner, to know your assets and any liabilities you may present. You should have a clear vision of your future and be
aware of your potential contributions. Getting to know you and being comfortable with what you find, makes you a valuable asset in
every aspect of life. Being in touch with your truths and realities will allow you to clearly state yourself in your profile. It will help avoid
misunderstandings, misinterpretations and better insure responses from those most closely suited to you.

Below are just a few of the questions relevant to self-awareness. There are many other avenues to explore and much more to discover
about you. Having this information will help promote a more satisfying, rewarding future and provide for successful relationship
ventures. Know the facts before you begin your search for a compatible partner. Set limits and boundaries before you get started.
Have the courage and conviction to say 'No'. The confidence that comes with your efforts will be life altering. It will ease the annoyances
that can accompany the online dating process and will simplify the sorting procedure. Knowledge is power and creates success

1-Who are you?
A-Is the person you present to others the real you or merely a façade? How much of you is hidden behind a mask?
Are you afraid to be the real you?
B-Are you content with your life and relationships? Do you envision yourself living a different life?
C-What makes you happy? Are there things you really want but feel you cannot have? Why? Can you change it? How?
D-What benefits can you offer a partner? Do you have baggage and come with burdens you would expect your partner to carry?
Would you be a liability?

2-What is it you want from life and your relationships?
A-What do the visions of your future hold? Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years?
B-Are there barriers or inhibitions that prevent you from being where you want to be? Are you held captive by your past?
Is there a plan in place to correct that?
C-What changes do you need in your life? How would you make it happen?
D- Is there a design of your ideal partner? What important qualities would he/she possess? Are your dreams and expectations
based in reality?

3-Are you aware of your requirements and needs?
A-Requirements and needs are very different. Can you clearly define each? What do you require and need to be happy,
healthy and content?
B-Are you able to easily and openly express your requirements, needs, wants and desires to others?
C-Have you set your limits and boundaries? Do you know the things, which are flexible and those, which are not?
D- Can you clearly state your position with regard to solvable and unsolvable issues? Would you bend to the will of outside
influences in that regard or
be firm concerning your requirements?

4- Are you emotionally and spiritually healthy?
A-Are you emotionally self-sufficient? Do you depend on the voice of others in making decisions regarding your life and in
choosing your path?
B-Do you have leftover issues from your childhood or past relationships that affect how you perform or react to situations
in your life today?
C-Do you need the approval of others for your feelings? When considering your life and relationships, do your feel sad or
have regrets?
D-Are you able to express you emotions and feelings?
E-Are you aware of your spirituality? Are you comfortable with your spiritual essence?

5-Other important issues
A-Do family and friends alter the dreams and expectations in your life and relationships? Would you allow your partner
those same privileges?
Could you take that power back?
B-Have you made the right career choices or is there something more for you?
C-Do you find yourself settling for things in your life to avoid having nothing?
D-What is your idea of a healthy relationship?

These are but a few of the questions to ask yourself.  The answers should come from within and without the consideration
of any outside influences. They should be honest and based on your own values, requirements and lifestyle. Start by asking
yourself the important questions, such as what you are passionate about. What really matters and if things aren’t right, why
aren't you changing it?  Start looking at what you are aiming for. Look at your life from a point of what you want to achieve,
rather than limiting yourself to what you think you are capable of achieving. The reality is that you can do it. The question is,
do you really want to?  If a question should provoke thought of another, take the time to make note of it or deal with it so
it is not forgotten. Questioning is how we discover the truth.


Is Marriage the Right Choice for You?

Our world has come a long way from its early traditions. Both male and female roles are evolving and the male/female
dynamic is vastly different from what it was 10 years ago. Women are becoming more assertive in their quest to find
happiness and are no longer settling for the standards set for them by Patriarchal rule. Men are not as eager to enter into
a lifelong contract, which restricts their growth and potential or offer themselves up as the 'sacrificial lamb' in the namesake
of tradition.

The 'old traditions’ or societal dictates suggest that we, as women have one goal in life and that is to find a man to marry
and spend our lives dedicated to his happiness. Men are the designated 'bread winner', the head of the family and are expected
to find a wife, procreate and carry the burden of offering their wives and children the 'ideal' life'. Aside from marriage being a tradition,
which has been passed down from generation to generation, a symbolic ritual of ownership and a way to deal with taxes, what
purpose does it really serve? Does it hold a place in today's world? Is it really necessary?

Some would quote religious precepts and argue they are bound by the church to marry if their desire is to share life and raise a family.
However, there are no 'marriages' mentioned in early times. The Christian bible makes no note of any 'marriage' ceremony. Adam
'took' Lilith and Eve as his wives without the benefit of rings and bridesmaids and 'divorced' Lilith without court papers or other formal
rituals. So where did marriages come from?  Who made the rule that marriage is necessary to solidify a relationship that we 'hope' will
last forever? Is it still needed to prove legitimacy of family? Does the paper contract enhance the relationship or does it merely serve to
inhibit and enslave its participants?

The fact is that the ‘institution’ of marriage is approximately 4,500 years old. Originally, its primary purpose was to bind women
to men as property and guarantee family legitimacy. Hidden within the hypnotic veil of romance, those reasons still exist. However,
some countries have begun to disallow marriage in the name of human rights. Those actions make a premier statement and reflect
the reality of the marriage contract.

The idea of marriage, as we know it today, is romantic ideology. In today’s society, this legal rite of ownership is alleged to be
based in love rather than property registration. Marriage is not meant to enslave its participants, but is a promise to share life in love.
However, when asked why marriage is so important, the majority answer that it’s because they want their partner to change the
words to sound appropriate for the times. It is ownership covered in fancy wrappings.     

Weddings have changed to keep up with the times. We now have more elaborate ceremonies. The bride and groom have the thrill
of dressing up in fantasy-like fashion and going through the formal ritual of giving themselves to the one, they love. The fan fair is dreamy,
but is it really necessary? Will the love shared diminish without the ceremonial presentation? Does it prevent cheating? Can marriage
truly guarantee legitimacy of family? Is legal registration, proof of ownership required for longevity? What purpose does marriage
really serve?  

The rate of divorce is currently over 50% and rising. Those high percentages indicate that more than half of those, who choose the
marriage option, have figured out that they made a mistake. Marriage was clearly not the appropriate choice for them. More than
half of the number of divorces and relationship failures are due to sexual incompatibility and cheating. Is it worth the effort, cost and
emotional drama and pain to marry and risk divorce?  Can we promote it given the evidence of the limited benefits? Is it yet another
outdated decree, which needs revision or dismissal?

While we have made great strides in our struggle to lose the hindrances of marriage and recognize the value of human rights, we are
still weighed down by ancient Patriarchal rule. Unfortunately, the right to marry was not given to all people of the world.  Same sex
marriages have been forbidden in many states in our country and in many countries worldwide.  However, marrying someone of the
same sex was not always outlawed and is once again found legal worldwide. It is not a new concept, our programming and view have
been altered, and laws put in place to inhibit the practice. Same sex marriages actually date back many centuries. The first recorded
homosexual marriage was that of Nero, who openly married at least two men in his lifetime and was rumored to have married more in
secret. The forbidden was once acceptable. Over time, our society has been committed to turning it ugly and shameful.  

The number of those who have chosen to co-habitate rather than marry is growing daily and worldwide. Maybe in subtle fashion
we are moving towards a better alternative. Outdated religious dogma may be on its way out. People are considering their options
and choosing personal preference and individual need rather than abiding by the rules made to govern the masses.

Is marriage the right choice for you? Will the legal contract hold any value, does it positively come with guarantees of bliss and
contentment? Would our partner leave without the contract in place? It would be time to consider your choice if that is an option.
Take away the glamor and glitter of the ceremony, the hopes and dreams for the fairy tale future and you are left with the realities.
Marriage is simply an age old tradition that gives your partner a right of ownership with lots of bells and whistles to mask the deed of title.




How Important is Sex in a Relationship? 



Sex is a natural, undeniable force in our lives. It is the essence of our being and holds enough authority to determine our dailylife experiences and the person we ultimately become. Our sexual energies affect every aspect of life. Hormone levels,chemistry, personality and mood are touched by its energies, so too is our spiritual essence. Sexual issues can exalt or dissolvefeelings of love and too often disrupts relationship commitments and marriages. Sex concerns play a major role in the high rate ofdivorce  and are the cause for most all incidences of cheating. That makes a clear statement of the impact it has in our over all compatibility and its level of importance. 


 With the divorce rate and relationship failures rising above 50%, one would have to consider the role sex plays in those percentages.It would appear that a great number of people are dissatisfied with their sex lives. It would be wise to give serious thought to this aspect ofour relationships and question the cause for such a high rate of failure. Do today’s fast-paced lifestyles affect our decisions regardinga partner or our sexual needs? Are our relationship choices based in lusty infatuation, driven by transient emotions? Do we suffer froma lack of proper relationship planning? Or are we simply meant to play out our sexual roles for a fleeting ‘moment’ and catch thenext spiritual connection as it finds us? 


Successful relationship ventures require open and honest discussion and planning for healthy, satisfying sexual experiences.Sexual compatibility contributes to the overall health and well-being of the relationship itself. In the beginning of a relationship,couples discuss all aspects of life to determine compatibility and make decisions about the future. They talk openly about their political views, spiritual and moral beliefs, address needs and desires and share their dreams and aspirations. Discussions regarding needs, planning for growth issues, the effects of outside influences and potential stressors are vital to relationship success.  Sex too has a place as a main consideration.


 Our sexual needs are viable and any verbal or written agreements involving a relationship commitment should include aparley and alliance regarding sex and our needs in that regard. The subject of sex must play a critical role in the negotiationsprocess to ensure long-term compatibility and fulfillment. Maybe an appropriate solution for a lack of attention to our mostbasic of needs, would involve consequences to promote its importance and relevance. A partner who fails to meet the addressed needs would create a breach of the marriage vows or commitment agreement, leaving a standing order for an‘out clause’.  Something is obviously missing and perhaps major consequences would assist in promoting the importance of sex in the planning process. 


Sex is not merely an event or a task we do as a matter of course. The bonding it presents, in its truest form,is the essence of a lasting commitment. When sex is ‘just sex', the chances for long-term happiness and contentment diminish greatly. Therefore, it is important that this subject be thoroughly addressed and agreement reached before any actual commitment takes place. Designing a plan in accordance with a mutually agreed upon checklist of needs,wants and desires is a good standard practice. Needs cannot be ignored and will eventually become deal breakers. 


Even addressing the simple things and including the ‘what if’s’, is important. What happens if either partner feels the sex has become boring? How do you tell your partner it is not enough for you? What would you say to your partner if there were voids that need to be filled? Settling for whatever is offered usually warrants a discontented mate and cheating.Neither of those end results is an acceptable alternative to designing a lasting plan and getting what you really want. 


All relationships require honesty and commitment in planning for success. It is wise to be open and sincere with yourself and your partner about your sexual needs. It is also important to be honest about your capabilities to meet theneeds of your partner. If your partner has cravings for oral sex and you find it disgusting, he/she needs to be aware of that inthe beginning. Saying yes to things you know you hate and cannot offer, would ultimately lead to a discontented partnerand result in cheating. Misrepresenting the facts or hiding your true sexual needs and desires will only prolong the inevitable failure of the relationship. 


Many couples say that sex is not that important. Love is the main component and holds the greatest influence.Those sentiments sound wonderfully romantic and fabulously courageous, but their needs aren’t going to go away becausethe partners want to appear heroic. The lack of fulfillment will eventually have an impact on the attitude and desire to participate. It will become a breeding ground for disagreements and promote the search for another partner, who will eagerly meet those needs. Sex is an issue! It holds great importance! That is our reality. 


The greatest aspect of our sexuality comes with the ability to share ourselves, our feelings and love. The ability to show love and your partner feel that love, through the exchange of sexual energies, is an extraordinary feat, which we relate to magic.The transfer of those positive feelings helps the bonding process, creates desire and cravings for more and promotes an Empathic connection. That connection allows us to feel our partner even when apart. The transfer of positive sexual energiesand the show of feeling are what give sex its importance in our relationships. 


Positive and negative energies are transferred from one partner to another during sex. If there are negative energies passed on, it benefits no one. Those negatives are transmitted, as a virus with each subsequent sexual encounter. Your partner can feel those negative vibrations and will take an unfavorable impression away from the experience.That will leave a lack of interest in a repeat. It is vital to any sexual relationship to keep the positive energies flowing. 


Those seeking a strictly sexual relationship or who have their needs met through friends with benefits, donot carry the same commitment issues as those in a typical relationship. However, they do carry the same responsibilitiesregarding sex. They also owe it to themselves to follow the same guidelines for honesty and openness regarding their needs.What’s the point if it becomes an act of momentary self-gratification? No matter the partner or the type of relationship,the sexual experiences should count. They should be memorable happenings, spiritual awakenings and not just sex events. 


The sex shared does not have to be a traditional lovemaking event to maintain its level of importance. Your sexual experiences can be altered, modified, an adventure in self pleasure or sex deemed outside the box, and therecan be compromise. Sexual energies will still be present and moved. Those sexual energies will bring every positive that traditional sex has to offer and can present the same negative affect if all of the elements are not satisfied.   


There are more than the traditional methods for calling up sexual energy and many more ways to flourish in itslight. Enhancements can be found in Tantric and Taoist sexualities or found in the ancient writings of the Kama Sutra.Standing away from the traditional is not an evil.   Relationships can suffer in the traditions and may need a more spiritual calling. Adding flair and spice works to your advantage in any case. Knowing what is needed can save a fallenrelationship. Look past the obvious for solutions to sexual ‘issues’. Maybe something as simple as a change in roles wouldanswer the call. Take sex out of the box, allow your soul to touch it and feel the magic it presents. Sex is the connector and can meld us with the energies of the Universe; it holds great power. 


Sex is an integral part of the human experience and cannot be ignored or taken lightly. It holds great significance inour physical, emotional and spiritual well-being. The importance of sex in our relationships is obvious and undeniable.Without a  strong and satisfying sexual component, the partners suffer great loss. Sex holds great healing and bonding powers and  does affect every aspect of life. It quiets the mind, nourishes the soul, allows the spirit to soar and brings life to the body.  Sex is relevant and relative and a critical component of any relationship where sexual energies are shared. It can be, and most often is, a determinate factor in its endurance.    of